Childbearing is very normal, or so most of us think. Sometimes we might feel like living in times of a “baby boom”. Apparently it seems like cafes, parks and shopping malls are swarmed with pregnant women, proudly showing her baby bumps. And beside them, sometimes a dad pushing a stroller with a toddler, too. Having a baby seems to be in fashion.
Today, most couples decide having a family much later in life. Looking at the ageing and greying generation of parents and the increasing number of woman being pregnant in their early 40ties, biological limits are tested and extended.
Research shows that about 15% of couples have an unfulfilled desire for children.
Even with evidence of this apparent baby boom, research shows that about 15% of couples have an unfulfilled desire for children. How do these couples react to their childlessness and what does it actually mean?
“All the people around you are having babies, and you, you find yourself abandoned, still waiting and hoping for your own bundle of joy. (Bank clerk, 41 years)
The unfulfilled desire to have a child can have medical reasons. In order to obtain assurance it is important for couples to undergo medical investigation first. In most cases the medical procedures are structured and conducted seamlessly. In contrast to that, emotional and mental support is lacking during this difficult phase in life. The couples often are left wondering: Why is this happening to us? What are we doing wrong?
The emotional effects of an unfulfilled desire for children
More than 50% of the women, desiring having a child, are struggling with doubts, anxiety or in some cases even depressions. With every month passing, and finding out not being pregnant, a piece of the self-esteem in oneself and in the own body is truncated. Consequently stress and pressure are increasing as undesired childlessness effects and involves several areas of the life: the relationship, the job, the social network, the financials and the sense of self-worth.
“Do you also have children?” is often the most frightened question during a couples time experiencing fertility problems. This is because they also know how they are going to respond – either snappishly or with tears – emotional embarrassment is hard to avoid.
How can couples be accompanied emotionally?
The suffering and pain couples experience, doesn’t need to become a permanent companion in day to day life. Psychological counselling can contribute relieving the suffering. Emotional coaching, specialised in Fertility, supports woman especially in coping with the negative effects of a fertility problem and gaining new perspectives.
The aim is to help woman to better manage their situation and enjoy their desire to have a child. There is a specific focus on stress reduction. Often lowering stress increases the chances of fertility. Similarly a lot of woman share their subconscious feeling of being their own enemy. Loosening subconscious blockades and negative thoughts helps to increase fertility.
The Fertility Coaching program
The Fertility Coaching program consists of about 4-6 one-to-one sessions, whereby coaching and counselling is supported with a number of relaxation techniques. Couples receive audio materials as well as self-help tools in order to regain inner balance and confidence.
The chances of success are good: The Fertility program doesn’t ensure overcoming childlessness however the past experience shows that more than 50% of all coached couples had a successful pregnancy and that 90% of patients improved their quality of life enormously.